wanna breakfree.

you're real when we're beside,
but we seems far apart.
i have you by my side,
though i dont feel we're indeed close.
gap drawn us to the end!
why cant i feel any efforts and love anymore?
even ask myself if i demand for more,
but i'm sure i did not.
fade? probably!
and because i love you more each day,
i pain more.
someone ask me,
am i happy now?
i want to answer yes but neither my mouth nor heart agrees with me.
which make me remain silent.
and then she added,
have your love become a burden?
being so helpless..
i cant answer anymore.
i cant even lie that im happy with what i've now.
isit the happiest i can be?
for now,
i pray for nothing worse to come.
don't expect surprise and love again.
as i know it'll be different from now!
goodbye my faith....

sickening.

cant help but pray daily for it to over!
wanna it over so much that i even dream of it when i'm asleep.
just hate when you surround me,
makes my presence awful.

rainbow please!

filled with boredom recently.
no fun,
no excitement,
no surprise,
no favourite doings,
no hangout,
no plans daily,
no smile,
no meetings with gf,
no movies,
no singing,
no yummy food,
no money
and
no tender love!
HUILI just dont enjoy each of her day now):

stay away from my mind.

for sometime,
im not enjoying my life like i use to.
everyday is just a torture for me and probably him too.
its all daily needs that we're troubled recently.
and its really terrible and getting out of hand!
i wants to do something bout it,
but nothing comes out of my mind.
spending what we have for tomorrow is what our recent act.
no extra at all and worse..
been squeezing so much juice from our brain to look for it daily!
cause its never enough -.-
when can we stop living like this?
when will times get better and end this torture?
im really desperate for my previous joy and pastime favourites!
damn it!!!
and now back to reality,
how am i going to survive this week?
im getting sick of all these mind cracking and devasting days!
suck up man.

( once a lie, its always a lie. one lie and need more to cover-up later! what for? imagine for how one trust you and its broken so many times though its not a threat to each other! but it pain another party while finding out the truth unexpectedly. )

specially for DARDAR.

wonder when are we gonna see each other,
chinese new year?
well dardar i'll miss you alot,
and i bet the rest will too.
i'll feel damn weird if we gather together and you're missing out.
come back soon alright!
but also all the best to you.
take care over there and go home early.
always my dardar,
i love you!
gonna miss you like crazy babe.