mixfruit mixtape

shift again !

2011-04-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

those who wish to follow me, please go back to my lj blog(:

enamoraffection.livejournal.com

will be trying ..

2011-04-05T06:42:00.000-07:00

it's not a easy time for me and least somebody knows it.
thanks charl sister(: love you!!
i'll push even further and try harder still,
but everything do have their limits.
once hit it'll be like a bomb.

( holding on still because i love what's i'm holdong back so much. )

back here (:

2011-04-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

shifted back here cause my lj seems unable to update and really needa space to puke everything out of my head badly!
everything everyday every moment not doing my any favour.
i'm hell tired almost everyday with school and work!
so don't even talk about how's life for me now -.-
no life except for work and study !
awesome yay -.-
worse is the most fairytale love story seems to become a history.
no more sweet talks, no more time, no more lovely plan and no more EXTRA.
just plain dating now and i don't like any of what's happening in life, eeewww !!!
needa break through everything and leave this sucky city to a smiley place which will make my smile return so badly.
seriously don't know i can endure for how long more, but yay i'm breaking down soon.
life's boring like hell fuck, someone pls coloured my days !!!

( when there's a gap, there'll always be then after )

shifted.

2010-11-26T04:10:00.000-08:00

decided to use lj instead because it's FASTER.
http://enamoraffection.livejournal.com
BYE (:

to change for a better us.

2010-11-26T04:05:00.000-08:00

there wouldn't be any preharps.

2010-11-20T05:12:00.000-08:00

because you build your love in me so strong than ever.

imma happy, yes i am!

2010-11-18T10:49:00.001-08:00

i'm happy because i heard a news, a news that extremely make me smile and tear with misses. that's what i wish it'll happen one day, and it's happening soon? (:

so what if i only left you?

2010-11-18T04:10:00.000-08:00

it doesn't really matters me if i only left you in my life. having you than anyone will be more than enough for me. you give me all i need now and everything i can to love someone, who else will mean mmore than you? nope, no anyone but my silly. am in love with you solely(: having the time to spend with you is how i want to occupy myself all times.

i wish to squash some potato and turn it to mash one(:

2010-11-16T04:36:00.000-08:00

POTATO of chong hui li, please be strong and stand back on your feet again. You're not alone because many are there for you, including your bamboo -.- ( though i don't admit i'm one ) I believe nothing will fail me, because i'm sure i'll be able to cheer you up and follow you through this period of time. Remember don't live in the past? Let's move on, JIA YOU! and i never forget i'll touch you till you tear, my challenge your terror =P

LOVE YOU POTATO <3

and if i know earlier.

2010-11-16T04:05:00.000-08:00

Human nowadays, from young they practice how to protect themselves so well, so well that during the process if they will hurt anyone while protecting themselves, without hesitation they'll. Covering up becomes a habit of human now, because they don't want to be entitle the " bad one " Not just a remark now, but a fact that i can't deny anymore. True is a word that can be spell and pronounce real easily, however knowing whether they're, take sometime. Just like how you plant a seed into the soil and wait for the process to grow and till it's ripen one day. Once it ripen, the last and can be the disappointing stage, check if what you grow is fresh or rotten in it. It's totally the same for friends or lover, it takes time to see the true colours of one and meanwhile knowing it, there'll be a process you guys will go through together. The process is important because it allow one being paranoid, and if you make the right choice you'll be relieve and taking a grief from being hurt, or if you make the wrong choice you'll eventually be hurt and burn in hell, a learning journey will starts as well. To want someone being truly to you, nearly impossible because people love themselves ultimately. Unless they're pure and simple, asking for nothing but your presence or don't expect for that.
Someone just text me saying this " we can't possibly live in the past my dear. " Yes you can daydream the past but can't live in it(:
To the person who text me this, thanks and LURB YOU!!!!!!

it's great in love, but not any other.

2010-11-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

love can be so beautiful, and how i'm being surrounded by it is the best part. indeed, i'm filled in love so much that i can't find anymore reasons for me to dislike love. my silly, his my best gift that i get so far, so far after so much misery in my life. he give me all reasons to love him and love him more daily(: not just being my guy, but my breathing needs, my strength, my motivation when i'm lost and nevertheless assure me his my lifetime wanna partner! having you around makes my life so much colourful and you open up a girl whom is enclose for quite sometime. GREAT JOB*

a great man who knows her girl loves surprises(:

a ring that he runs around to get(:

a hello kitty mirror that don't want reminds me of before(:

my hello kitty make-up mirror (:

a necklace that bring our memories around(:

my car cushion and a wanted camera(:

lantern festival, and he did " i love you "

the reason we met, it's in xiao hong now and then(:

hello kitty casing which is online purchase(:

meant to brighten my gloomy night(:

paris who is meant to make my working night(:

our first toy that start the sparkle and our first couple tee(:

loving the way i am right now, and not gonna let anyone to affect this love, because i love him so! no one will stand a place in him and get into us anymore, as i'll hate you and curse your life(:

oh yeah my beloved(:

2010-11-12T04:00:00.001-08:00

i'm going steamboat with these beloved later(: first time i'm actually excited for a steamboat feast! i'm soooo gonna enjoy with these lovable. hope tonight will be a fine night, PRAYING*

" Calm. Is not only an emotion that appear on faces. It can be hidden deep down in heart at the midst of happening which you will feel it eventually. Reason - Love :) "
how happy will one feel if someone tells you this?
It feel like having the grasp of the whole world not just now, but eternity!
my guy, you're the best i can ask for and you're the best that i ever found!

marvellous.

2010-11-11T02:07:00.001-08:00

pretty boy, i've never doubt anything in you. never doubt your ability of everything that you're able to do. moreover why should you doubt your performance on your so call " test "? RED?!? that's impossible because from the start of it, colours and more colours filled it how could it only be red? indeed there's red because red is part of that rainbow colours of your score to make it colourful(: even w/o the test i know you'll still pass because you've long pass in mine! trust me when i say you did it and when i says I LOVE YOU.
loving you more becomes my food of life, it's compulsory and important(:

not for anyone except YOU.

2010-11-09T04:47:00.000-08:00

no longer live my life for anybody except a silly.
i've got to do what's right for me and us,
even if it hurts some people you use to love.
because they don't worth your life alittle for them.

当我们到了下一段；

2010-11-08T03:58:00.000-08:00

成经发生过的点点滴滴，
那令我们俩微笑的时刻，
心动的感觉，
心痛的感觉，
我不会当作没有发生过。
但是时间在往前跑，
我们都应该往前看，
不要在原地站留太久，
不然感觉往往会淡化。
能放开多少心痛的时候，
我们就把它给忘了吧！
因为我爱你，
真的真的好想永远跟你在一起。

HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY, SILLY.

2010-11-01T03:48:00.001-07:00

happy birthday my dearest silly(: hope you enjoy yourself. every year during your birthday, you'll expect me there for you and fresh susprise. i love you! your smile is my strength for everything.

love cravings for you.

2010-10-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

it can't be anymore beautiful than just having you by my side now. Because your presence, it makes my day like dreams(:

when nightmares never come to me anymore.

2010-10-26T22:18:00.001-07:00

define my night as lovely everynight falls. a silly brightens my night into a day, filling it up with love and care. when i was younger, wants the clock to stop ticking however i demand for more tickings now, demand for more hours each day so that i won't need to rest from my sunshine world so soon. you're good, cause you flutter those butterflies inside me that seems dead in the past.

your love get right through me & life me sky high(:

living in the future.

2010-10-22T05:11:00.001-07:00

we are not the same person this year as the last,
nor are those we love.
it's a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
so that's my purpose loving you,
cause i'm happy in love with you(:

take away you, my life is a tomb.

better off like this.

2010-10-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

no doubt, she's my life.
anything that gonna harms her, i'll be standing in front preventing it.
i love her with all my life,
my daily injection of happiness,
so much that i need her.
never mistaken her for another,
cause i'll hate you.
once a mistake spot,
millions mile will need to be take.
before it's back on the right track.

hate the truth but it's done.

no much choice.

2010-10-13T03:31:00.000-07:00

past photo, past place, past environment and past doings -.-
if i'd a choice, i won't return but reality sucks.
find me strength and endure it for a month or so,
get it done and fuck off from there.
i dislike this return seriously, FML!

if dad is around, i can live like a young unwound child and worry less.
when will his shadow comes?

becoming empty emotions.

2010-10-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

If I could make time go backward,
I would erase the words you heard.
If I could do it all again,
I would do it differently.
If i could stop the tears,
I would never let it roll down.
Nothing would be the same,
If i know it would be this sinful.
The first time always hurts,
And it never gets easier.
Guilt always feed on our mistakes,
Every mistake they'll gain their strength.
Always wishing we could do it all again,
So that their strength won't increase.
Never knowing how bad it hurts.
Knowing forever that scar gonna stay.
We should still head into the future,
Because we're truly in love.
Letting go won' t be my decision anymore!
I swear, i'm sorry!

my reality of you is better than anytime of my life,
so i don't dream, cause i love reality with you(:

one's helium another oxygen.

2010-10-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

the keypad of lappy spells out every starting word that runs in my head well.
solving isn't hard, but where to start from is the tearing part.
being love in bliss, but not having the best of world at all.
cause i feel i'm handicap now!

i miss what i use to enjoy before, especially you, my dar!

a drip of tear.

2010-10-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

tears meant a treasure box. when it's unlock, tears will be release and relieve invade ones. love again is once again possible, just both of them, silly and pretty!

i'm in love with you, silly.

2010-10-04T00:54:00.000-07:00

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.

my silly.

2010-09-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

" As long as my babi pretty is fine, everything doesn't matter at all. Your safety can't compare to anything else. don't feel guilty babi,xiao hong will feel proud. knowing that she has been driven by someone important to me. Xiao hong and me will ensure your safety on road, never let u bully by the others :) feel proud babi :) she is waiting to be driven by u once again. love u lots babi :) "

someone wants to comment this but FAIL, so am now doing a favour POSTING IT ON MY BLOG =P

car crasher.

2010-09-24T03:47:00.000-07:00

i'm utterly guilty for causing silly's favourite injured.
it wasn't on purpose, i'm sincerely sorry.
another add-on to my fears of driving -.-
i hate this feeling, sucks to core being guilty.

FML

accident stops the heart to pump.

2010-09-22T00:37:00.000-07:00

it's curious sensation, the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling.
when your heart stops pumping for that second, your heart met an accident, and nothing matters anymore.
either the urge of recovering kills you or it's the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.

acute pain that push me backward alittle.

cheese cake, last dish(:

2010-09-18T01:52:00.000-07:00

blackforest blend perfectly with cheese cake.
so well, the train head off to their destination.

jelly bean.

2010-09-15T05:53:00.000-07:00

someone left a bottle of jelly bean in my heart and the colours in it, spread everywhere filling every part and corner with a mixture of rainbow colours(:
you're that jelly bean mouse i want to grow old with.

a return can be sweet dreams but also nightmare, which you would choose to turn out like?

up to the tip.

2010-09-13T23:49:00.000-07:00

PL 150, CLASS 3 LICENSE, UNIVERSAL STUDIO, JB, FAV.FOOD, PARTYWORLD, WOODLANDS, MOVIES, CATCH UP, SHOPPING, LOVE AND YOU!

that's how much i'm enjoying now(:

getaway(:

2010-09-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

i break free the spell for so long, and i enjoyed my trip alot with them all especially with the presence of my gf(:
thanks all for making the trip so fun and relax.
it's a break-though after a year of suffers.
im free from it, and contented with my oncoming plans.
more funs to come (:

big version of cooking mama !

genting getaway!

indulge, yes of you(:

2010-09-06T12:56:00.000-07:00

you're filling the black and white with your colour pencil, and so i'm indulge in that picture and you(:
thanks for the surprise, i love it.

own interest own gain.

2010-09-04T06:51:00.002-07:00

humans are unpredictable, for their own interest they sacrifice everything. who will be true then? remember how my mom tells me how evil can one gets when they go for your purpose, i never listen. now, i realise how true it is. fallen down so many times, i won't trust any anymore. good bye to a motive friend.

all about love.

2010-09-01T04:59:00.000-07:00

all my vision turns into you when i see things. nothing appears beautiful only when you're in front of me. you appeal to me, and nothing else(:

*moved on!

feel of love.

2010-08-25T01:22:00.001-07:00

let me tell a story.

once, a guy saw a girl and indulge his eyes in her for the first sight.
fate draw them nearer and speed was added in into the love.
their love gradually punch into each heart deeper as time passby.
movements of the 2 soul bond smoothly and actions react naturally.
love were easy and so simple that they were amaze.
and now, they're in love and in a train of love journey towards their very own life.
story of silly and pretty.

周杰倫 - 說了再見

2010-08-21T02:41:00.000-07:00

didn't know how beautiful this song can bring me into before.

(:

2010-08-17T04:04:00.000-07:00

someone make me thinks that love is beautiful actually!

guardian of my heart.

2010-08-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

build a scheme just to protect myself more. anything that don't make me feel unhappy bout it, i'll strike it off from my mind. when one get so hurt painfully once twice thrice, will eventually protect themselves regardless is minor or major because they're afraid of pain and unhappiness. protecting oneself and neglect other feelings doesn't means there's ain't love instead, the person learn to love themselves more. i just wanna to be a happier one, simple!

(i'd love you, and i'm still loving you)

i hate you!

2010-08-10T18:14:00.001-07:00

i damn fucking hate liquor. FUCK OFF seriously, i wanna stop so much but i can't now.

maybe i'll love you.

2010-08-09T17:35:00.000-07:00

once again, the feeling of loving someone return.

let's get a ticket and go for FUN.

2010-08-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

bring me out for holiday someone! a place just me and you that's the truth. i need a break and have fun before i can't.
just me and you, you and i!

hey fuck you guys!

2010-07-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

i'm tired explaining to people what i'm doing and trying to do. fuck you people, you guys are just so dumb. don't provoke me but being sarcastic or come to me and ask me why? i'll tell you guys to FUCK OFF FROM MY FACE. i'm serious bout it, just live in your own world and dont stir up mine. i'm not gonna be affected nor change anything for ANYONE. you guys sucks and sucks to core!

wonderland.

2010-07-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

they're awesome cause they have unstandable cute-nessssss !!!

oh yeah, let's celebrate.

2010-07-25T12:30:00.001-07:00

why celebrate? because i'm happier, im kinda relieved(: this should be the way man.
i should be love for what i did.
opening eyes bigger, widen our ears are what i learn after all.
it's gonna be useful later and future.
let's cheer for me cause everything have get back to their inital place.
and i'm happy now(:
promises are meant for you to keep and me to make it stay on cause we live as one.

( we're just fated to be a pair )

embrace me.

2010-07-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

i'm breaking down emotionally. FML. i hate what i'm going through now. it should have belong to me!
fame is something more than just beong famous, the consequences needed to face needs strength and courage. courage and not whether will i or not, it's greater than something you think it is. you're the fame, i'm the backstage know. i really don't know, really don't know where i'm heading anymore. nightmare started, and hell times is on their way looking for me.
ohwell, no one understand anything that bugging me in my mind now of course, cause i shut anything that speaks off(: good job huili.

i'd love you.

2010-07-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

i still love you so,
i still wanna be yours.
i want to be your girl still,
i want to get the touch of you totally.
and how'll i get more of it?
bets me all around the world to find your presence you know?

( only when you come, i'll be happy )

discharge getaway.

2010-07-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

i just lose in a game, and losing this game is heartbreaking. because losing your sense of excellence or worth is a tragedy now.

( when i'm ready, i hope to see you in just up-front of me )

un-worthy.

2010-07-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

i don't deserve anyone, anybody.

fantasy asleep.

2010-07-08T03:24:00.000-07:00

i had a dream last night, and everyone appears in there. however it's different because it's you and me, and not him and i. if i'm given a choice, i'll want to stay alive in the dream instead not reality.
i love you, i miss you.

淚了.

2010-07-06T01:12:00.000-07:00

it brings me pain listening to this songs of yours.

two-way ticket.

2010-07-02T20:34:00.000-07:00

i need someone to real understand me, and allows me to show them what i can give them in love.
no one will know me best than i myself do.
anyway i've renew my pdl and starting my first pract next sunday 430 woohoo.
i'll pass this time and not for any purpose or anyone but for myself(: strive for MYSELF.
jia you, there you go huili!
The Twilight Saga Eclipse
9 Temples
Letters To Juliet
Shanghai
Triple Tap
Wheat
i'll marathon you(:

ignorance plays a role.

2010-06-30T22:03:00.000-07:00

you'd fight hard for the stand in my heart,
but one swap it's fallen.
climb again if you want to cause you're too popular for me to withstand.

am i?

2010-06-28T01:48:00.000-07:00

am i happy with what i have now? asking myself this again and again. i guess i am, not confident at all. i'm contented with people who loves me more than before, treasure me to the core and feels most fortunate when i'm among them. however i'm so afraid that one day all these smiles creations will leave me alone again. i do really fear, someone ease these for me please.
recently i'm utterly exhausted. used too much strength and time at work, and really hope this time-span will end soon. worldcup please end come on!!! i've no time for my mom and neither my baby. worse is i don't even have time for my beauty sleep. came home ytd and mom asks me why i look so pale and GREEN -.- yeah green. i look into the mirror and says, what exactly happen to me man, i look totally different and it's killing me. lost everything that make me look bright, wth. come on i need a healthy lifestyle, let me get this all done and leave here for heaven sake. i'm sick and tired of this nightlife too. I WANT BACK MY LIFE, MY REAL LIFE THAT I CRAVES FOR!
someone guide me and gives me more strength to hold on these man.

sugar candy.

2010-06-24T22:40:00.000-07:00

appearance lies, internal tells the truth.
but no one yet to find out the truth.
because everyone think everything's fine.

good news!

2010-06-20T18:32:00.000-07:00

i'm done with it,
FTL(:
aloofness? so what!
won't care and bother anymore.

more please(:

2010-06-16T19:27:00.001-07:00

i simply love surprise(:
it makes me smile and sweeten!

2010-06-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

i'm hell dead and exhausted.
tired and intention of giving up is utterly strong.
please leave me some space of happiness kind soul.
i hate what isit like now.
FML seriously.

2010-05-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MY BELOVED MUMMY.
I LOVE YOU AND THERE'S NO DOUBT OF MY LOVE.
YOU'RE THE BEST AND NOBLE MOM OF MINE.

she's mine.

2010-04-25T18:18:00.000-07:00

she's just my lovely one,
can't stop falling in love more each day for her.
ever since that day she given me a wound on my little finger,
she's gentle to me.
can see how badly guilty she is because of the scar she leave on me.
as she jump and that excited look of her whenever she sees me,
just brush all my unhappiness away.
moment of time,
only thought that come in to my mind is
sit down sayang and love her all i might.
that cheeky smile whenever she got what she wants,
and naughty paw of hers will pull my hands on her back if i stop.
she never fail to brighten my each day(:
keke, that's my love.

( no worries, i won't hate you because i know where the line in drawn. keep those extra actions and words to you back. )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAR.

2010-04-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
dar, i'm waiting for you to come back and collect your present from me(:
i love you,
and may every year i'll do the same for you!

2010-04-14T01:55:00.000-07:00

If I could make time go backward,
I would erase the words you heard.
If I could do it all again,
I would do it differently.
Nothing would be the same.
The first time always hurts.
It never gets easier,
Hoping you’ll say what I want again.
Always wishing we could do it once more.
Never knowing how bad it hurts,
till i feel the same way too.
Knowing that it's forever we can’t go back,
To maintain that pain-less and the doubt-less pure heart,
it's totally impossible.
It’s lost forever,
however i'm still willing to head for our future.
will you?

( just for you my boy! )

missing something...

2010-04-11T01:27:00.000-07:00

I remember your hands how it fits into mine.
I remember your eyes,
the way you looked at me.
In your eyes where once I saw my destiny,
And a growing eyes which tells me how honest you can be.
I remember your cheerful smile,
It become the ecstasy you brought for my heart.
As you sang our sweet lullaby,
I remember how you say you love me,
I remember how you say you miss me,
I remember everything how it was.
Without fail,
I'll fall in your sweetest thoughts.
I'm still waiting that I could hold you in my arms,
Touch you by your face,
And the heavenly feeling in your embrace,
I wish i can remember everything by the word soon,
The unconditional love we had before,
Will never be varnish.
As the days passes by,
The number of times my heart pound for your name,
Number of time i look up into the sky,
Searching for the visible image of you,
And that feeling which I still long for the love we had,
Just can't taken off my mind.
I remember the time,
when you were by my side,
I wish i could hold you and hug you tight.
Lastly I remember when your love was mine,
I'm greatly happy.
I LOVE YOU(:

humans are different.

2010-04-08T00:06:00.000-07:00

No two people stay the same during the course of a life time. Their needs, wishes, and interests vary. It is unreasonable to expect that relationship partners will grow and change in the same ways, at the same time. It is not necessary for the two of you to always think the same way, enjoy the same activities or people, or be in the same place at the same time. Just because you have different tastes or interests doesn't mean something is going wrong. moreover hiding the true side of one seems so evil. it's been sometime but no one knows that true-self of you, thats scary!

( loving someone need so much of effort and attention but i didnt know, and i've reach my corner )

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2010-04-06T23:36:00.000-07:00

they're my girls,
and i love them.
it's my girls who make me believe friends exist.
i'd want to lose them,
but what can i do now?
cause all of us are drifted apart and,
not easy to hold back as strong as before.
girls i miss those times!
shall we think of something to cure this.
i miss you guys,
darling,
dardar,
sweetie,
buddy,
cutie!

( better communication can more effectively give the support you seek, and in return you'll be more successful in getting the support you want(: )

i've stand up, but not moving.

2010-04-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

i've change and many dont understand.
i am just a girl running to find a cave that can heal my pain.
selfish, but she just want extra protection for herself.
because she had enough of scars!

wanna breakfree.

2010-01-27T19:05:00.001-08:00

you're real when we're beside,
but we seems far apart.
i have you by my side,
though i dont feel we're indeed close.
gap drawn us to the end!
why cant i feel any efforts and love anymore?
even ask myself if i demand for more,
but i'm sure i did not.
fade? probably!
and because i love you more each day,
i pain more.
someone ask me,
am i happy now?
i want to answer yes but neither my mouth nor heart agrees with me.
which make me remain silent.
and then she added,
have your love become a burden?
being so helpless..
i cant answer anymore.
i cant even lie that im happy with what i've now.
isit the happiest i can be?
for now,
i pray for nothing worse to come.
don't expect surprise and love again.
as i know it'll be different from now!
goodbye my faith....

sickening.

2010-01-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

cant help but pray daily for it to over!
wanna it over so much that i even dream of it when i'm asleep.
just hate when you surround me,
makes my presence awful.

rainbow please!

2010-01-24T14:15:00.001-08:00

filled with boredom recently.
no fun,
no excitement,
no surprise,
no favourite doings,
no hangout,
no plans daily,
no smile,
no meetings with gf,
no movies,
no singing,
no yummy food,
no money
and
no tender love!
HUILI just dont enjoy each of her day now):

stay away from my mind.

2010-01-11T14:07:00.000-08:00

for sometime,
im not enjoying my life like i use to.
everyday is just a torture for me and probably him too.
its all daily needs that we're troubled recently.
and its really terrible and getting out of hand!
i wants to do something bout it,
but nothing comes out of my mind.
spending what we have for tomorrow is what our recent act.
no extra at all and worse..
been squeezing so much juice from our brain to look for it daily!
cause its never enough -.-
when can we stop living like this?
when will times get better and end this torture?
im really desperate for my previous joy and pastime favourites!
damn it!!!
and now back to reality,
how am i going to survive this week?
im getting sick of all these mind cracking and devasting days!
suck up man.

( once a lie, its always a lie. one lie and need more to cover-up later! what for? imagine for how one trust you and its broken so many times though its not a threat to each other! but it pain another party while finding out the truth unexpectedly. )

specially for DARDAR.

2010-01-03T03:36:00.001-08:00

wonder when are we gonna see each other,
chinese new year?
well dardar i'll miss you alot,
and i bet the rest will too.
i'll feel damn weird if we gather together and you're missing out.
come back soon alright!
but also all the best to you.
take care over there and go home early.
always my dardar,
i love you!
gonna miss you like crazy babe.

my massage location.

2009-12-22T18:40:00.000-08:00

FIRST DAY.

she's my cousin, wei chuan!
as we depart from singapore....

SECOND DAY.

we're heading off to grandpa's tomb!

me in a kok kok car there =P

my second aunt(:

cousin(:

as we reach....

my cute little 2 nephew and niece!

mummy & klang uncle!

beautiful & relaxing, that's what i love there.

she's my mummy(:

they're doing some praying process.

mummy & i, loves(:

grandpa's tomb.

ahbee korkor gf.wei chuan.me

kaki cousin!

guys side,

lady's side,

and one big family(:

when mountain top to bai bai with these 2 babes and ...

THIRD DAY.

as we depart moro.. she's my small aunt!

my mummy & secong aunt.

mom & daughter.

babes =P

2 hottie moms(:

as we heading back singapore in ferry!

camwhore starts !!!

do we look like we're same age?

hardworking chap messaging when there's reception =P

if only i can eat this cousin of mine up, i wont be bored ever =P

safe & memorable trip(:
THE END..

happy birthday sweetie(:

2009-12-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

happy birthday to you,
happy borthday to you,
happy birthday to my SWEETIE..
happy birthday to you(:
singing you this simple songs and may all your wish come true.
i will always be here for you never fail!
enjoy yourself and hope you like th present huh.
make sure you use it.
and ya.. your sweetie here miss you and ALL of us..
i love my sweetie, one and only suitable sweetie.

ps: if you cant get someone out of your head, maybe they're supposed to be there. and you're just suppose to be in there cause you're simply my sweetie(:

this for you,
your sweetie HUILI.

2009-12-13T14:17:00.000-08:00

its all about standing firm,
my stand.
my conscience.
my righteous.
and my principle.
being strong and wont be demolish easily!

(Truth is something which can't be told in a few words. Those who simplify the universe only reduce the expansion of its meaning)

double side.

2009-12-09T13:32:00.000-08:00

one side of me, another side of you.
but no one knows its terrible!

(half of me says fine, another half says i'm not!)

truth of darkness.

2009-12-05T07:01:00.000-08:00

its all a mistake and i should have believe my instinct.
dont disappoint me please!
im gonna lie my trust back on you again and dont break it!

( nearly became 'almost lover')

story of no full-stop.

2009-12-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

initially thought, it's gonna be the end of everything! guess what? we're all wrong. things just came in their way and there's isn't anyway for me to stop the flow. probably i did not want to stop anything either, cause i'm smiling in fact! love, something that bring smile, tears and surprises. smile when its sweet and cry when its bitter. as for surprise? to me its all the on and off indecisive decision. i'll agree with all, cause your smile matters me more. for off.. i will just go back to normal! for on.. congrats me then(:
but there's still so much uncertain within me, it would be best that you answer all but it's never gonna be easy for all. what to do now? ...
waited and now is wait.

(i'm sorry i've tried my best!)

2009-11-24T03:29:00.000-08:00

Without you I lose myself, Within you i found myself. Wanting to be found again!

(thats for you, its never easy i know but i still never want to end it this way!)

thoughts thats roll circle.

2009-11-19T21:30:00.000-08:00

love story.
once again, the ball roll back to me. glad? yes i am. however the ball stucks right in front of me. unwillingly to roll forward. probably is because of me, i did not give any push to it. or there's something in front of it that make it stop its movement! i really dont know. or maybe its never meant to be back to me. even though its not moving, im gonna hold on firm to it cause i never want to lose it anymore. cause when its back, i've become a child who jump around with joy, telling everybody its back!
i only make up a total of one, but we make up a total of a pair. clap with me hand in hand, and move on things slowly. cause we know we need each other(:

daily circle.
im not recovering! still coughing badly and vomited again and again. someone save me from this torture. the pain in my chest is killing me. worse i gotta work tonight till 5AM. oh my my! can i handle? probably i need my old house medication(: doctor there is better.

keke.
she's really a adorable one(: when i cough, she comes to me and lick me. as though she sayang me(thats her way to sayang me) and bite on to my water bottle asking me to drink water. sleeps with me when im sleeping after medication and go follows me anywhere if i leave the bed(: she's worried for me too i guess! save me from any trouble, so she pee and poo in the toilet! she's my happy pills seriously(:

(let's hold on strong, dont collaspe anymore)

reaching destination.

2009-11-18T02:48:00.001-08:00

just for you:
Perfections in your eyes,
is what i earning for.
Quality of me,
is what i leave on you in the first sight.
Gorgeous is what you think of me.
Beauty of us is when the start begins,
and will never end at last ♥

sick.sick.sick
medicine.medicine.medicine
water.water.water
drowsy.drowsy.drowsy
sleep.sleep.sleep
cough.cough.cough
flu.flu.flu
please recover soon!

nemo camming.

2009-11-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

they're my strength to move on with(:

she's perfect darling.

darling kisses darling

buddy looks so adorable(:

ghastly buddy!

its rare to see her in this way.

she's hot and wild.

sexy babe, dardar(:

she looks like pornstar!

my darling-in-law!

darling and her baby(:

handsome & act cute darling-in-law.

gifted BFF(:

another BFF who cares for me!

ah zhong, gorilla zhong!

they're name loves birds.

she's chloe(:

pamela(:

xiang min(:

melody baobei.

his call ACE(:

they're my closest, my chill(:

my warmth.

2009-11-15T00:24:00.000-08:00

dardar.me.sister.darling

babes that space my life.

my comfort my warmth.

we really love her(:

you all make perfect of bitches.

2009-11-13T02:27:00.000-08:00

just shut your mouth and get on with your life.
stop bitching around,
evil deeds will come to an end one day,
and you'll get your retribution.
i'll just wait for that day to come,
definitely sitting down one side and see you guys be repay(:

(its never enough for you)

saving up plans.

2009-11-05T16:55:00.000-08:00

getting christmas present for all my beloveds.perm my hair again.
get my gucci handbag by this year.N97.holiday trip.mani&pedicure.

fall sick again,
slept for the whole ytd and did not go anywhere!
gum is making me going nuts too,
so painful and keep bleeding!
ARGH..
gotta work tonight,
bless me with the sales(:

( give me sometime i'll sort my feelings free )

nemo please(:

2009-11-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

im a owl now, only sleep in the day):

KFC.2piecemeal.cheesefries.yumyum.being send to work.
by someone.work.push sales.drink drank but no drunk.
sing.1.7k.5 waitress.companion of sweetie.smooth.GOOD.
supper.jalanbesar.grace.sweetie.baby.jeff.and berber.
home being fetch.by baby.HOME SWEET HOME!

my table is coming later, like FINALLY !
neat room will be appearing soon.
i can paste my photos,
(me.mybeloved.baby.mommy.and keke)
fix my TV and all my HELLO KITTY can be display up(:

tonight got no work but going down to nemo.
my darling.dardar.sweetie.buddy working,
so gonna support them(:
whats more?
keke is going down too! she's stuck at home very long le.
pubbing for keke tonight!

( i've my inferior and thats why it cant be started )

apple pie.

2009-11-01T17:51:00.000-08:00

wrong time, right guy!
right guy, wrong time!
and now it become both,
who then?

( when love part, everything sweet leaves, when it comes, everything clash together )

angel's wedding.

2009-10-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

we're just one(:

they're the one i love.

cutiepie.buddy.dardar.

and my sweetie(:

congrats angel and ah yu(: both of you have our best blessing!

went over to a pub at chong pang,
somehow got piss for some reasons!
and home sweet home after supper with li wei jun and baby!

almost lover.

2009-10-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images
No
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do.

( its just not strong from the start. )

hope we'll never change.

2009-10-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

whether its misunderstanding or not, just wanna leave everything like this. stationery there and move nothing. all i want is my friends and him(: they're just what i need. and hope we'll never drift!
( his back and what should i do? )

its strong that i ask for.

2009-10-23T06:02:00.000-07:00

i trust all my girlf than anybody else.
to me, you guys are the most important of all.
now its whether im trusted by you.

"When a relationship of love is developed,
a bond of trust is formed.
There is an unspoken agreement that the two of you are committed to each other and that you will not see other people.
When one of the members of this sacred bond choose to be intimate with another person,
they are not only cheating their lover but they are cheating themselves as well.
They are breaking their own bond of trust.
In most situations, when a person cheats,
it is not because of affection for a new lover.
Rather,
he may be searching for what is missing in his present relationship. "

(tell no one of your secrets, no one knows what you're thinkng, and you wont be betrayed.)

im just a girl.

2009-10-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

heavy responsiblity from my boss.
pushing sales hardly everynight.
doing of what i dont last time.
unreachable relationship.
confuse and painful decision.
false hope.
sleepless 'DAY'.
tons of work everyday.
messy room, unpack stuff.
tied tight financially.
un-fully trust.
stressful projects.
unfaithful promises.
insecure, empty promises and changed.
something is just amiss in my lfie.

and im just only a girl by myself,
whom got no one too share my burden with.

imperfections.

2009-10-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

i know how imperfect i am since im brought to this world. never did blame anyone especially my parents cause they're just trying their best to love their children. they tried all means to prove me that im truly being love by them. i love my family(: especially my mom who did so much for me. so many years of spon feed from my mom, i decided to be on my own ever since i met him. to be a reasonable and independent girl for him. as i know, who like girls to be childish and really spoilt? its a coincident we met each other. there slowly our story begins... sweetness.blessing.simple.development.love and everything that a couple could encounter, we've it too. but we got separated months later. for a mistake, for many misunderstandings, and even more love that we have for one another. all these while, period that we're separated i miss every bits we spend together. really everything we use to do together. wonder do you ever miss them all?

Her imperfections become perfect in his eyes. You have completed her in more ways than you could imagine.
Touch-up with the imperfect ones.
Loving her in every way she never experience before. She feels in her heart that their hearts have came to dwell together, as one. The day they met was fate. Their lives intertwining was fate. and now its fate that make them reunite back. clueless of having communication with him anymore. but we're on the starting line again. may something happen and turn it my fairytale again? or its gonna stay like this?

am i in earth?

2009-10-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

work is getting lesser for me.
no longer feel warmth and comfortable there.
leaving? YES !

shift to my new house and ..
im not use to it at all.
no matter how tired i am everyday,
i still sleep only after 3am.
dont even dare to go out,
afraid i might just get lost somewhere.
but it all takes time probably.

i hate relationships now seriously.
dislike many feelings when in love.
never thought that i prefer single so much.
but right now i think i love being single.
i cant get use to be commited anymore.
im sorry, but i need more time.
really more time!

( im missing someone greatly nowadays, and cant get him off my mind. )

pleasure.

2009-10-03T02:49:00.000-07:00

yippy yeah yeah life.

i should feel contented for what i have now.
though im going through so much stress now,
and yet i feel fortunate.
craziest thing is,
i still can feel contented whereby im having
way too much stress that i can cope with.

ytd.
BEN&JERRY surprise.from baby.home being fetch.
work being send.sweet messages.companion.
protection.while working.MILK TEA(:

today(later).
NEW PHONE(N97).steamboat(soon).work.
being send and fetch by baby.mommy
sponsore half of my phone.just happier me.

yeah!!! im getting my favourite phone later, N97(:
i got a best mommy who spon me half of it and baby
gonna sign that line for me.
cause my 2 old numbers not gonna be use anymore.
whoots, cheers(:
another sweetest thing my baby did was..
he bought ben&jerry for me!
left it in my fridge while i was working
and told me when he feels im moody today.
damn damn shock(: and its indeed sweet.
just like the sweetness of first love.
thanks baby!

and the best thing now is, i got her(:

(if only you're here)

backed.

2009-10-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

first thing i wanna exclaim is....

keke is back to me(:
and this time she's gonna be mine!
not gonna part from me unless she misses her.
yippy yeah yeah(:
damn happy la,
she's mine now !!!

mel was the one who got it back for me on wed while working!
and when keke sees me, she really go crazy! hahas
i guess its not a one side thing that i miss her,
its both misses one another damn lots!
touched by her little action though.
whenever i leave her sight and leave her being carried by mel,
she barked! like as if asking me to come back.
even king admit she clings to me lots(:
and king allow me to carry her around while working!

thanks mel for helping me to take her back and took care of her when im busy(:

its was really a great night on wed(:
猪猪大哥 came down that night too.
and helped me lots cause his friends wanted to sabo my waitress.
like drink for me,
swap cards and bought supper for me, force me to finish it!

jason was there too and its his birthday that nigt.
they drink like liquor were just plain water to them -.-
but jason helped me drink lots and end up he was somehow tipsy
and left early!

another guy call ahtu and his friend were cute people!
they told lydia they want me to their table and when i go over,
they were so shy to talk to me -.-
only said i look innocent and very different from other waitress.
hahas in fact im not that different from any girls, hor baby? LOL
they save me from drinking at other table,
they dedicate lots of songs for me to sing to them(:

one more group of peeps who save my night is dexter gerald them.
hahas baby wasn't there cause his tired and gotta go home.
they ask me to stay at there table to prevent from drinking.
and gerald was so willing to help me look after the door while i use the toilet.
wasn't relunctant at all(:
guess the only peeps i can trust most is them that night!

sales were great that night(:
everything head off and ended real well
just that my beloved are not here):

happy birthday!

2009-09-27T17:58:00.001-07:00

happy birthday yongda(:
its your 21st birthday, may you've a good one!
with my sincerely blessing,
all the best.

didnt know shopping for the whole day can be this tired.
shop for furniture whole of sunday with my mom and him.
and its damn tiring.
most tiring part is i had 4 meals ytd.
breakfast - kway chap
lunch - mee pok
tea break - hotdogs & ice cream
dinner - claypot rice & stinray
best! im growing fat again,
after being on diet for so many days):

send mommy home and we went up too(home),
suppose to be a wash up trip
but.. end up falling asleep whereby we're going for a movie!
and meet dardar after movie =P
well i was too tired for anything!

last but not least i miss keke!
wonder if she is doing good.

simply just miss you, and your zero presence now just make my life change!

tonight im going to my sister, carol bdae celebration. gonna have a great one! drink drank drunk.

keke.

2009-09-26T16:09:00.000-07:00

keke, you'll be miss by us!
must guai guai k, mwcks*